I am fascinated by phrases and their meanings and origins. For instance did you know that using the expression "kick the bucket" as a way to let someone know that someone has died comes from when people were hanged? A person stood on a bucket under a tree limb to be hung and when it was time, the bucket beneath them was kicked out of the way for that person to be hung. Hence the phrase they "kicked the bucket". It makes sense and I get that. But as I lay here after surgery, not being able to lay in a comfortable position and at this very moment have construed my body to be twisted like a contortionist just so I can somehow type on my lap top on my bed (this is so that my belly is mainly lying down so that my rump is mainly up with no pressure on it) and typing this in sections when I can; I am very well aware of, and have become much more intimate with the phrase "pain in the ass".
So it's got me thinking-- what could the origin possibly be for that phrase? I mean really, you hear it all the time. "these new programs are a pain in the butt", or "your beginning to be a real pain in the rear". It's almost comical. Almost. Did people used to walk around with pain in their kiester all the time? Maybe way back then, coccyx problems ran rampant! And if it did, well why in the heck doesn't anyone seem to be aware of the problem now? I mean people were coming from all over the country just to go to the surgeon that I went to for the exact same issue and he does about 2-3 surgeries a week for the same problem. Yet supposedly it's so rare! It's not rare. Why isn't the medical community schooled on this? The medical community is so uniformed that my surgeon is doing a study. He's already been doing it for a year or two and I am now part of that study. For the next two years I will be recontacted as to my progress post surgery of removing my coccyx. It could very well be possible that people had this condition way back when and were faced with absolutely the same problem as those that have it today, facing no alternatives because it went undiagnosed and unfixed.
I've had a pain in my ass for nearly 2 years now and I'm hoping once the surgery pain is gone, that I will once and for all only have to deal with it figuratively. But rest assured, if you are ever to hear me say, "you've really become a pain in my ass"- I mean some serious business, because after everything I've gone through, trust me, it will not be meant nicely. Either way, no matter the origin or how you choose to say it, whether it be pain in the arse, rear, butt, can, rear end, sitter, bahakas, ass, bum, kiester, buttocks, bottom, derriere, colito, or gluteus maximus- in this area, I am now an expert.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Self-Discovery
Trials and tribulations have been the name of the game for about 10 years now in one way or another. It started with my divorce in 2000 and ended my decade with some major health crises arising in my life. Do I dare hope that a new decade may mean things might settle down and give me a little rest? Give me the break I feel I so very much deserve? To let things just be? To allow me to enjoy the good things that are there without them being complete consumed with the difficulties that surround it?
But as I wonder that I look back and contemplate. Boy did I find out about myself through that divorce, that toxic relationship that followed, through being a single mother, broke, losing everything, going back and putting myself through college to be the first to graduate from college in my family. To finally getting enough resolve to leave that toxic relationship; to starting my career and dealing with all the very difficult and stressful things that, that entailed for a while.To meeting someone that is considerably younger than myself and having the courage to stay with him because of who he is and not the number of years he's been on the planet. To the results of an ex, that is beyond bitter, on my daughters, and our relationships. To becoming ill and losing the career that I was just getting going, and losing being self-sufficient.
I've always been told, through my whole life, how strong I am. I already know that about myself. There would be no way to have gone through some of the things I've gone through my whole life without it. But it's the other things that I've discovered that has surprised me.
For instance, once upon a time while watching a couple of kids in Utah swing back and forth on a line in the sky, I commented aloud about how incredibly crazy they were and that "I would never do that". Well I did do that, twice! And not only did I do that, but it then segwayed into me deciding I wanted to skydive as well!! Which I did! I have a lot of adventure in me I discovered. I discovered through schooling how to overcome the negative voices in my head and do something anyway that I thought I couldn't do or wasn't smart enough to do. It also taught me how to accomplish a very long goal. I learned how to overcome some very tough obstacles in a work environment and show them what I am made of, and become an invaluable part of the team. A lot of people wouldn't have bothered and would have walked out the door. Through my poor health I've had to learn how to depend on others and accept help and shed the skins of what I thought I was or who I thought I was.
And now I'm planning a wedding for myself that I never in a million years thought I would be planning. Planning the one I've always wanted but thought I would never have or that I felt the Universe didn't feel I was worthy of having. First of all I never thought or most importantly wanted to get married again and then..... after 10 years, I did. But having the wedding I wanted, with all that was going on with my health, losing my job, going through my savings, even walking? But it is happening and with this upcoming surgery I'm focusing on the positive and believing it will be alright and I will be fine. So I plan the wedding of my dreams in that frame of mind. Even with planning the wedding of my dreams, I found out what that was. That too has been a self-discovery along the way. Because before now, I never thought about it.
So far it's been one hell of a trip and I'm not done yet. It's very cliche thing to write but doesn't make it less true. As with many things, self-discovery isn't a destination we take it's what we find out about ourselves on the ride along the way. It's just that for some of us, the trip is filled with more pit-stops, inclines and break downs along the way. But then it's in those moments we really find out who we are.
But as I wonder that I look back and contemplate. Boy did I find out about myself through that divorce, that toxic relationship that followed, through being a single mother, broke, losing everything, going back and putting myself through college to be the first to graduate from college in my family. To finally getting enough resolve to leave that toxic relationship; to starting my career and dealing with all the very difficult and stressful things that, that entailed for a while.To meeting someone that is considerably younger than myself and having the courage to stay with him because of who he is and not the number of years he's been on the planet. To the results of an ex, that is beyond bitter, on my daughters, and our relationships. To becoming ill and losing the career that I was just getting going, and losing being self-sufficient.
I've always been told, through my whole life, how strong I am. I already know that about myself. There would be no way to have gone through some of the things I've gone through my whole life without it. But it's the other things that I've discovered that has surprised me.
For instance, once upon a time while watching a couple of kids in Utah swing back and forth on a line in the sky, I commented aloud about how incredibly crazy they were and that "I would never do that". Well I did do that, twice! And not only did I do that, but it then segwayed into me deciding I wanted to skydive as well!! Which I did! I have a lot of adventure in me I discovered. I discovered through schooling how to overcome the negative voices in my head and do something anyway that I thought I couldn't do or wasn't smart enough to do. It also taught me how to accomplish a very long goal. I learned how to overcome some very tough obstacles in a work environment and show them what I am made of, and become an invaluable part of the team. A lot of people wouldn't have bothered and would have walked out the door. Through my poor health I've had to learn how to depend on others and accept help and shed the skins of what I thought I was or who I thought I was.
And now I'm planning a wedding for myself that I never in a million years thought I would be planning. Planning the one I've always wanted but thought I would never have or that I felt the Universe didn't feel I was worthy of having. First of all I never thought or most importantly wanted to get married again and then..... after 10 years, I did. But having the wedding I wanted, with all that was going on with my health, losing my job, going through my savings, even walking? But it is happening and with this upcoming surgery I'm focusing on the positive and believing it will be alright and I will be fine. So I plan the wedding of my dreams in that frame of mind. Even with planning the wedding of my dreams, I found out what that was. That too has been a self-discovery along the way. Because before now, I never thought about it.
So far it's been one hell of a trip and I'm not done yet. It's very cliche thing to write but doesn't make it less true. As with many things, self-discovery isn't a destination we take it's what we find out about ourselves on the ride along the way. It's just that for some of us, the trip is filled with more pit-stops, inclines and break downs along the way. But then it's in those moments we really find out who we are.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Day one of the beginning- What's in a word....
I can't say exactly what is making me take this step to start to write a blog right now and the truth is I'm not sure how much I'm going to really utilize it. But it's day 1 of Jan 2011 and it just feels right to start something new. So today I've set up a blog. We'll see how far this goes, if it goes at all and what I might discover. If nothing else it will help me continue to write and keep my mind sharp since writing is a major part of my 2011 determinations.
Determinations. That's what I've decided to call them this year. At one time I called them resolutions just like everyone else. Resolutions however is so commonly used and nearly completely associated with or equated to another word in my opionion. Failure. So I changed it to goals. But like resolutions, Goal too has a negative connotation to it. It's one of those things that as a motivational speaker I discovered it was one of those topics that quickly drew glazed looks as it went in one ear and out the other from its over use. It's a topic people hear about and read about endlessly. People tuned out.
I decided to practice what I preached and changed the word choice. This little trick I use and have taught to others that makes the same thing seem like something new and in this case achievable. So goal became plan. As in 'plan for the new year'. It worked on a couple of levels. As the word states, you have a plan. A plan seems easier to accomplish because it already has a plan to it. It also felt like it gave you time to accomplish it. New Years Eve Resolutions implies past. My belief is that, that is in part why people fail and fall into the 2 weeks into Jan. failure. The resolution is now done and gone and given up on. "I made that resolution on New Years EVE, that was 2 WEEKS ago. I've moved on to my winter blahs now." We are a people that look forward. No one wants to work on something that resides in the past. So... 'plan for the new YEAR' means future. Also including the word new, helps imply fresh start, clean slate, new beginnings.
Now I've moved onto "determinations". This new word for me describes itself perfectly once again. This is not just a blase thing I want to do. This is not something I have casually thought about or have repeated talked about. This is something I am DETERMINED to accomplish and do. This means I mean business now. This means, this time is different.
So what's in a word? I guess I'll see but I'm determined to find out.
Determinations. That's what I've decided to call them this year. At one time I called them resolutions just like everyone else. Resolutions however is so commonly used and nearly completely associated with or equated to another word in my opionion. Failure. So I changed it to goals. But like resolutions, Goal too has a negative connotation to it. It's one of those things that as a motivational speaker I discovered it was one of those topics that quickly drew glazed looks as it went in one ear and out the other from its over use. It's a topic people hear about and read about endlessly. People tuned out.
I decided to practice what I preached and changed the word choice. This little trick I use and have taught to others that makes the same thing seem like something new and in this case achievable. So goal became plan. As in 'plan for the new year'. It worked on a couple of levels. As the word states, you have a plan. A plan seems easier to accomplish because it already has a plan to it. It also felt like it gave you time to accomplish it. New Years Eve Resolutions implies past. My belief is that, that is in part why people fail and fall into the 2 weeks into Jan. failure. The resolution is now done and gone and given up on. "I made that resolution on New Years EVE, that was 2 WEEKS ago. I've moved on to my winter blahs now." We are a people that look forward. No one wants to work on something that resides in the past. So... 'plan for the new YEAR' means future. Also including the word new, helps imply fresh start, clean slate, new beginnings.
Now I've moved onto "determinations". This new word for me describes itself perfectly once again. This is not just a blase thing I want to do. This is not something I have casually thought about or have repeated talked about. This is something I am DETERMINED to accomplish and do. This means I mean business now. This means, this time is different.
So what's in a word? I guess I'll see but I'm determined to find out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)